I'd like to think I was productive this weekend. And I guess I really was. Three paintings done. Zero done well. All three paintings in the trash. Having painted even one would have been considered productive, but three? I should consider it work no matter what. Yet knowing each failed (in my mind at least) is frustrating and depressing anyway. I therefore should quit altogether. Just give it up entirely. But I won't. I really want to, however.
I thought about even just packing it all away and ignoring everything for a week or two. Maybe to clear my mind, to ease the pressure I put on myself. But in doing that, I know I risk never coming back to it. That's how I lost those previous ten years, and I won't let my self-imposed mania get the best of me again. So tonight I'll just sketch ... on my best paper with my best pastels ... not calling it painting .. just maybe doodling to see what happens.
No comments:
Post a Comment